Ok here is some background. I've been dating the same guy for 2 years now and he is the greatest. He does nothing wrong. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time. He takes me out when he can. He's forgiven me for my jealous tendencies and stuck with me through my ups and downs which directly affect him. He's attractive and knows how to please me and I love him, he is my best friend.
I love the idea of marrying him and having a family one day. Yet I still find myself looking at other guys and thinking it'd be nice to mess around. I have no interest whatsoever in a relationship other than the one I'm already in. I love my boyfriend but I feel like I am lacking a passion for him. I had a boyfriend before this current one and I could not see other guys despite him being a jack ass and now I have the perfect boyfriend and I can't help but notice other guys.
What do I do? Is this normal for one who says they are in love?
While my current boyfriend and I haven't broken up before he has given me plenty of space when I express the desire for it and I've even confessed to him being unsure about my feelings. When I did try to break up with him for having these feelings he fought to get me back and I cried endlessly just thinking about our separation. I'm so mad at myself and I can't tell what it
is I need to be happy in this otherwise wonderful relationship. Or whether I should be in a relationship at all.
Answer:
This question was answered by the Bloggaffair team & has received 2 responses:
Dear Confused,
1st response:
For this guy to have such great qualities it’s incredibly immature of you to whine about a lack of passion. You do not want to look back 10 years from now wondering what ever happened to the greatest man you’ve ever met. Do you seriously think you will find another man as great as the one you have? If you think so then you are thinking a little too highly of yourself. I understand that you can’t help how you feel but you need to get over and get over it fast. This man may love you but you are a fool if you think for a second he won’t get fed up with your “confusion” and leave your happy ass.
I’m not trying to be harsh but you need to snap out of it and NOW! Passion fades but love, admiration and respect doesn’t if you are with the right person. Get it together honey before you lose a good man and he finds a woman that appreciates him and doesn’t let her childish expectation cloud her judgment.
Lady E
2nd response
It is completely normal for you to find yourself looking at other men. I am proud of you for recognizing this and having the courage to speak up and communicate this to your boyfriend. While Lady E may think this is childish I think it shows maturity. The worst thing for you to do would be to get married before acknowledging and confronting these feelings.
It is 2011 the days of calling women hoe bags for wanting sexual exploration is over. Do not live by anyone’s rules other than your own. You sound like an honest woman and you sound like you have a good man you. Things can work out. This is just a block that you have to get past.
You said that he pleases you, but does he please you sexually? If not open up communication and let him know things that he can do better, without killing his ego. Is introducing new fun toys an option?
You also said, “He's forgiven me for my jealous tendencies and stuck with me through my ups and downs which directly affect him.” This made me think that you may have already cheated on him. Is this the case?
I got the impression that you may still be in love with the ex that did you wrong. There may be a void that you need to address before you can move on with the current boyfriend. Did you have time to be single after that relationship? Every girl needs a chance to be single. It is during that time that you learn so much about who you are and what you want.
From what you wrote my advice would be to take a break. You sound young. See if this relationship is what you really want. Get whatever this is out of your system. Make sure to explain to your boyfriend that you love him but this is something that you need to do for yourself and has nothing to do with him. While he may be hurt he needs to respect your hon. If he loves you he will still be there for you. It is better for you to be honest now than for you to cheat later.
Lucee Lit
Thank you for your question,
Best of Luck,
Hope this helps !
The Bloggaffair Team
No comments:
Post a Comment